What Is A ‘Hatchelorette’? Here’s What You Should Know.

Baby showers are a rite of passage that many expectant parents cherish. But when author Laura Lane was pregnant with her first child, she was eager to skip this particular ritual.

“For a variety reasons, I knew I did not want to have a baby shower,” she told HuffPost. “I’d had a miscarriage already and had a high-risk pregnancy, and almost felt superstitious about it. The traditional baby shower, with its pastel decorations and diaper cakes, was not for me.”

Although such gatherings are well intentioned, Lane believes they “don’t always serve the modern mother, who is grappling with the seismic shift of becoming not just a caregiver, but a new version of herself.” Instead, showers tend to prioritize the external trappings of parenthood, with moms-to-be unwrapping their preselected burp cloths, diaper caddies and onesies for all to see.

As Lane’s pregnancy progressed, she realized she wanted to mark this transitional period of her life with loved ones in a different way. And she remembered how meaningful her bachelorette party was.

Enter the “hatchelorette.”

As the name suggests, a hatchelorette is sort of a bachelorette celebration with a prenatal twist. It’s an opportunity to get away and make memories with close friends and family before the whirlwind of parenthood sets in.

“I wanted to celebrate this new rite of passage with friends, just as I had done with my bachelorette party. But now I was ‘hatching’ a baby, so I decided to call it a hatchelorette,” Lane said.

Although there are many cheesy cliches associated with bachelorette parties, she noted that they have evolved into a more individualized experience reflecting the honoree’s desires and personality.

“They are not constrained by a rigid template like a baby shower,” Lane said. “Whether it’s a wild weekend in Las Vegas that you’d have to pay me to go to, a meditative retreat on the beach (which is more my style), or a quiet dinner with close friends, the bachelorette party is about the person, not a prescriptive idea of what a milestone celebration ‘should’ look like.”

Similarly, a hatchelorette can be anything ― a relaxing beach trip, a mountain getaway, a weekend at the spa, or even just a couple of nice evenings spent lounging and chatting with loved ones. The only constant is the focus on the expectant parent and their needs.

“It’s about crafting a moment that feels true to the mother-to-be, not about conforming to outdated traditions that center on ‘baby first,’” Lane said. “A hatchelorette can bring that same spirit of individuality and celebration to the transition into motherhood that centers around the person ― their identity, their friendships and their evolving role in life. It’s an opportunity to connect with friends and shed societal expectations, and create something that feels authentic and deeply meaningful.”

For her hatchelorette, Lane rented a house in California and invited all her friends to a big sleepover.

“We stayed up talking, bonding in a way that you just can’t do over a two-hour dinner,” she recalled. “We also did all of the silly things: We did arts and crafts, movie night, yoga, had a big dinner party, made mocktails in baby bottles and played games. We took the parts I actually liked about a baby shower and the bonding parts of a bachelorette party and put them together.”

Although Lane coined the term “hatchelorette” and wrote about the idea back in 2018, the concept reached a broader audience this year. She said she’s thrilled at its growing popularity.

“It’s had another renaissance thanks to TikTok,” Lane noted. “There was clearly a need to rethink the antiquated baby shower and center it around the individual caregiver in a modern way.”

The rise of the hatchelorette also fits well with a broader travel trend of the last few years.

“Celebratory travel has been on the rise since the [COVID-19] pandemic,” Sarah Roman, a communications manager at travel insurance company World Nomads, told HuffPost. “From grand bachelorette parties and babymoons to smaller-scale celebrations, like gathering friends for a favorite artist’s tour or marking a loved one’s career milestone with a weekend getaway, people are embracing travel as a way to celebrate life’s big and small moments.”

Many moms-to-be have touted the benefits of the hatchelorette experience.

“Hatchelorettes are a great excuse to travel before baby arrives, get some true relaxation and adventure in, and fun for everyone involved,” said Angela P., the lifestyle blogger behind Southerly in the City (who requested that HuffPost not use her full name).

During her pregnancy, she spent a weekend with friends and family at a rental house by Lake Tahoe, where they hiked, cooked meals, shopped and went out to dinner one night. They explored a beautiful destination and spent quality time together ― opportunities that are not as abundant or logistically simple with a newborn in the picture.

“I knew I didn’t want a shower in the traditional sense, so instead we essentially planned a girls trip before things changed forever,” she told HuffPost. “We did still open gifts, but the rest of our weekend was spent just catching up and enjoying each other. It was perfect!”

For Lane, this kind of trip is also a welcome reminder for moms-to-be that they have strong support systems and are full, enriched individuals deserving of many types of joy, adventure and connection.

“A hatchelorette is a chance to reaffirm who you are outside of motherhood and your family, to laugh, to reflect and to solidify the friendships that will sustain you as you navigate the complexities of parenting,” she said. “In a culture where motherhood can sometimes overshadow individual identity, this kind of trip should be a reminder that you are not just a mother-to-be but a whole person.”

As one of the first people in her friend group to have a baby, Lane especially valued the opportunity to cement her friendships before embarking on a new chapter.

“I was scared I might lose my friends, or they’d think I wasn’t fun or available anymore, and all these other insecurities I had,” she recalled.

Marsha-Ann Donaldson-Brown, the director of weddings and romance at Sandals Resorts International, agreed that travel is a great way to solidify the bonds of all kinds of relationships, including friendship.

“We know from speaking to our guests that experiences are far more impactful than material gifts,” she said. “I think people are increasingly recognizing that traveling with others, especially their favorite people, is what forms those core memories. As life gets busier, this time becomes more rare and all the more valuable.”

Of course, there are some potential drawbacks to going on a hatchelorette.

Donaldson-Brown noted that “your partner might be a little jealous of a girls trip over a babymoon,” an experience that includes both expectant parents.

If your budget permits it, you could have both, she added. Expectant fathers might consider having their own “dadchelor party” as well.

But “with the popularity of destination weddings and bachelorette getaways, this could be seen as yet another expense you are putting onto your friends to celebrate your life milestones,” warned Fora travel adviser Amanda Bates.

And “timing can be tricky with expecting parents,” noted Maddi Bourgerie, a travel expert with the company RVshare. “There may be travel limitations due to pregnancy, and there are many logistics that go into group travel.”

These limitations may also lead to different expectations around a trip, which could cause the whole thing to backfire.

“If young, single friends want to party like they did on your bachelorette, new parents want to catch up on sleep, and the pregnant guests starts noticing the stark difference between the two, it could psych them out for big changes on the way,” said Elizabeth Narins, a parenting writer and director of content and communications at New York’s Hotel Lilien.

Although a hatchelorette does not need to conform to any prescribed expectations or standard, there are some helpful tips to keep in mind to make the experience enjoyable for all.

“Creating a trip that focuses on relaxation and pampering for the mom-to-be and her closest friends is key,” Bates said. “It’s important that there is plenty of R&R and not too much jam-packed into each day on the itinerary. These trips tend to be a short weekend getaway.”

She noted that spa retreats are great because everyone can enjoy a treatment and relax, and beach getaways are generally restful as well.

“Others ideas for these trips I’ve seen work well are glamping or nature-focused trips with easy hikes, stargazing and bonding time around the fire, as well as city trips in cute, walkable towns with lots of charm, like Charlotte, Austin and Santa Barbara,” Bates added.

While you can theoretically travel anywhere for your hatchelorette, you may feel inclined to choose a domestic destination to make the trip more affordable for attendees, and to be closer to home in case of an emergency.

“The other thing to consider when picking a destination is the access and quality of medical care in the place you are going,” Roman said. “Are there quality hospitals around if needed? Certain tropical destinations pose a higher risk for diseases like malaria, Zika or yellow fever.”

Be mindful of food safety and water quality as well. Food poisoning and traveler’s diarrhea can lead to more serious issues during pregnancy.

“If pregnant women want to fly to attend their hatchelorette, we recommend checking the cutoff dates with the airline, as some airlines won’t allow passengers to travel past the 28-week mark, whereas others draw the line at 36 weeks,” Roman said. “It is also important to check with one’s doctor about when they should stop flying.”

She recommended that moms-to-be book an aisle seat for easier access to the lavatory. If you’re road-tripping, build in plenty of time for bathroom breaks ― or even consider making it a fancy RV vacation with constant access.

“Choose a destination with special amenities for pregnant women to ensure she is properly pampered,” Narins advised, pointing to hotel offerings like pregnancy pillows, special skin care products and send-off goodies.

Having a selection of zero-proof cocktails available is another plus for the pregnant honoree and anyone else who isn’t drinking. You can now even book hatchelorette packages at certain hotels, like the Shelburne Sonesta and Saratoga Arms in New York.