Divorce has never been anything new – and ever since 1921, the number of divorces has only increased. People are no longer alright with staying in a loveless marriage, where they cannot get along with the person they once called the “love of their life.”
Many couples decide to stay together simply because they have children. However, 82% of the children from bad divorces say that they would rather have had their parents separate than “stay married for them.” Some may think their choice to stay will be good for their children, but here are some surprisingly good effects of divorce that may suggest otherwise.
- Children Can Spend More Time with Each Parent
During married years, children don’t get quality time with each parent. Most of the time, it is either spent together as a family or with the parent that mainly looks after them. However, even if they may be living in the same house, children don’t feel like they are spending too much time with their parents.
That being said, when a divorce happens, parents will begin to make arrangements. Visitation, who will stay with whom, how the weekends will be handled – this allows the children to spend more time with each parent individually, in a less stressful environment. This way, parents can bond with their children.
- It Protects the Mental Health of the Children
Many parents stay in their marriage because of their children, but this doesn’t mean that they will get along. They will keep fighting, very often in front of the children, believing that the kids won’t understand what’s happening anyway. While they may not understand everything, they will understand enough – and domestic violence will come back to haunt them later.
Not only will the children feel scared and unprotected, but it can also affect their mental well-being in the long run. Children exposed to domestic violence risk developing anxiety and depression and may show poor performance in their everyday life. By divorcing, parents will spare the children from witnessing their fighting, allowing their mental health to develop properly.
- It Prevents the Children from Copying Your Actions Later On
If you stay in a marriage where you can no longer get along with your partner, continuously arguing with them or even acting hostile, your children will begin thinking that this is the normal thing to do. Remember, children may not say much about the drama going on around them, but it does leave an impact on them.
For example, one out of three women in Denver has experienced domestic violence, and the biggest predictor of this is whether the perpetrator grew up in a house where domestic violence reigned or not. Many Denver family law attorneys say that the majority of people accused of domestic violence grew up in a house surrounded by it. Therefore, by separating at the right moment, you will spare them from that.
- It Helps Teach the Children a Lesson
Once more, if you decide to stay “for the kids,” all while being miserable, your children will begin to think that it’s okay to do that as well. They will think that their own happiness does not matter and that they should live by the documents they just signed even if the situation they are currently in is a toxic one.
Still, it doesn’t have to be that way. Your divorce can be a lesson for them that not every relationship is meant to last. You can teach them that it is much better to separate amicably than to remain in the marriage and become miserable.
- It Allows Children to Become More Adaptable and Resilient
Divorce has many effects on children, but not all of them have to be negative. If anything, divorce can simply help them become more adaptable and resilient. It can be tough for them at first – but eventually, it will make them stronger.
When parents go through a divorce, the children will need to develop coping mechanisms in order to deal with the change. They learn to adapt to a new life, they manage to accept things for what they are now. It might not seem like much now, but this will affect their adaptability in the future.
The Bottom Line
Divorce does not have to be a bad thing for the children. In fact, if both parents step up, it can prove beneficial. It is better to end matters on good terms than to stay and create a miserable home environment.
